The Latino Mob, Affirmative Action, Hezbollah Beauty Pageant Conspiracy

Hatred of Muslims is driving some conservatives absolutely crazy. In the wake of Rima Fakih winning Miss USA, anti-Muslim animus is boiling over. Rima Fakih comes from a Lebanese Muslim family and immigrated to the US when she was a child. The top anti-Muslim, right wing, crusader, Daniel Pipes, sees Ms. Fakih’s winning of Miss USA as being orchestrated by some affirmative action zealots, as he wrote in his blog.

Daniel Pipes doesn’t believe this conspiracy is limited to the Miss USA pageant. Pipes notes that Muslim women have also won beauty pageants in England, and even at a Black college — North Carolina A&T. An African American Muslim not only won Miss A&T but had the audacity to dress modestly as she represented her school. A Muslim winning Miss A&T screams conspiracy. African Americans would never support someone with a Muslim background (shout out to Muhammad Ali and Happy 85th birthday Malcolm X).

Pipes highlights in his blog a fan’s breakdown of the long history of affirmative action in beauty pageants: “[A]ffirmative action was first applied in beauty contests for black women to win in the 1980′s, then it was the turn of Latin, brown skinned women.” Of course, even in Muslim beauty pageant conspiracies, the root of evil can be found in the African American and Latino communities. What other explanation could there be for Black, Latina, or Arab women winning a beauty contest?

Of course, not all conservatives believe affirmative action radicals made Rima Fakih Miss USA. Conservative talk show host Debbie Schlussel believes that Hezbollah funded and orchestrated this terrorist coup. Ms. Schlussel goes on to call the new Miss USA who left Lebanon at the age of seven a “Hezbollah auxiallary member.”

If Debbie Schlussel is correct, the power of terrorists in the US is more powerful than I ever could have imagined. I wonder which of the Miss USA judges have fallen under the spell of Hezbollah: Was it Oscar Nunez of the comedy series “The Office”? Was it Melania Trump, the wife of Donald Trump? She does look foreign — and what type of name is Melania? Probably a secret Muslim name. If Melania is a Muslim agent, then the integrity of “The Apprentice” could be in jeopardy. Quick, someone call NBC!

Or is it NBA star Carmelo Anthony? He is big, scary, and suspicious looking (not only is he black, but he’s also Latino). Well, one thing is for sure: if Carmelo knows who is a Hezbollah secret agent, he will definitely not snitch.

Speaking of Latinos, Fox News contributor Michelle Malkin sees Miss Fakih beating the blonde haired and blue-eyed Miss Oklahoma as having to do with the intimidation of the “open borders mob.” Miss Oklahoma was asked during the pageant if she thought federal or state government should handle immigration enforcement. She responded that she is against illegal immigration for states’ rights, but also against racial profiling. This I guess is what brought the Latino mob into the Muslim conspiracy to deny blonde-haired blue eyed women their proper place as Miss USA. Sounds like a C-O-N-spiracy to me.

What is America coming to? We have a Muslim Miss America and a black president. At least we are guaranteed a white American idol this year.

I am sure the conservative blogosphere will next year organize to support a proper blonde Miss America. Maybe these conservatives can rally around Miss Arizona next year, in recognition of Arizona’s laws against ethnic studies and undocumented workers. The only thing is that this year’s Miss Arizona looks pretty swarthy — I mean, she could be a Latina or Muslim.

And to think of it, has anyone checked Miss Arizona’s papers? If not, I am sure they soon will be checked thoroughly and often. Maybe the swarthy Miss Arizona can be deported and replaced with a proper Aryan Miss Arizona. Once this has been accomplished, the next step is to have a Miss USA recall, and then crown the new white all-American Miss Arizona the new Miss USA. As Don King used to say, only in America.

Dedrick Muhammad is a scholar with the Inequality and the Common Good project at the Institute for Policy Studies.