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2012 Won't Be the Same without Herman Cain

December 5, 2011 ·

The Institute's deadline poet bids farewell to the former GOP front-runner's entertaining presidential bid.

Herman Cain. Photo by Gage Skidmore.Nein! Nein! Nein!
Say it ain't so.
Oh dear Herman,
Please don't go!

Your chutzpah,
Your halo,
Your unrivaled hubris,
Your lack of embarrassment about being clueless.

We didn't care that your tax plan was dumb,
We didn't care that 9-9-9 made us numb.
Your policy of nuclear war was quite grand,
dictated by the mountainous terrain of Iran.

We didn't care if you knew nothing of Libya,
Gaddafi, Egypt,  Mubarak, or Namibia.
You loudly denounced women claiming sexual harassment,
It was they, and not you, who were the embarrassment.

We ate it up when you swore you had never done wrong.
That it was your charisma to which women throng.
When we watched the endless Republican debates,
We knew the others, next to you, were lightweights.

So what will we do now that you have stepped down?
Who will be the next bumbling clown?
I guess the job now falls to Newt.
But we really will miss you because you were a hoot.

Karen Dolan is an Institute for Policy Studies fellow.